I always follow the blog gringa-n-mexico. Today she posted about another lady who was pregnant and her baby was dropped by the Dr. at the hospital. Poor mom and baby.
Well, this was very sad news for me. I am a very soft hearted person and I don't like to hear about people in pain or misery either by being sick, losing a child, etc.
But this made me think of more than that, it made me think of my plans of going to Mexico in February. I was ver decided and now I am not so sure if I want to now. I love Daddy Edgar, but he talks of how he lives on a ranch and how he does not really like it, but he wants to see his family (it has been almost 5 years) So he says that if he does not like it, and he knows I will not like it at all because it is so different. As far as housing situations and food situations. I mean from what I understand his family has more money and stuff than other families, but still the power goes out for hours or even days, no AC, no running water in the houses. I am thinking that I am going to live in poverty like in one of the neighborhoods on the commercials that are trying to get children sponsored so they can have healthcare and school and food. I mean that is not the kind of life I want for my kids nor myself. He says that after a few months of living on the ranch we would go to a city if I was not happy. Well I already know I want to go to the city. The closest to the border we can get without getting done away with by the cartels. I would like to do what some other americans do.. live in Mexico and commute to the US to work that way atleast living in a city we will have running water and I can buy a hot water heater and have some of the basics of a normal life. I don't know, but it makes me sad to think about not being with him. The kids love him and I do not understand this situtation at all. I mean how could he just leave and that be the end of everything? Is that possible? I am not looking forward to going to el rancho at all. I am going to miss my job, my grandmother, my TV, being able to drive around and be independant, my kids dr's and dentists, my dr's and everything! I keep on telling him that it is going to be really hard for me that far down in Mexico.. because I am not married to him okay? So when I go to get a visa (fm3) i think, how am I going to get it if i can not show that i have income coming in? If I was married to him then he could sign that he was responsible for me- right? I know i will have the tourist visa for 6 months, but after how am i going to go to the US every 6 months so I will not get thrown in jail and deported for overstaying a tourist visa. I keep on telling him of these problems and he is like well we will see what we can do about the visas and stuff. Well, I know what I am going to do then. I will ride down there with him to meet his family and let them meet me and the kids, but then I am going to get on an airplane and head back home to the US until he can figure out what he wants to do. I can't live on last minute decisions.. i am the type i like to have a plan about my life and know what is going on so i can do what i need to do also.
Anyways, any advice feel free to leave it!
Being well spoken and eloquent
8 years ago
How about a compromise? He's laid down his half by saying that you could come for a few MONTHS to see if you like it and THEN if you don't, go searching for a city. So how about you lay down YOUR side. Something like, how about you go down there to the ranch and you guys start searching for a city IMMEDIATELY.
ReplyDeleteI grew up without having any running water and it wasn't that bad - but I can't imagine not having electricity. That? Yikes? You'd better bring a lot of books to read cuz there sure aren't any english libraries down here! :P
As for the FM3 I'm pretty clueless but it does seem difficult to do without being married or having a job in Mx. When I went to get one they told me I couldn't HAVE a job in the U.S. because I would need my husband to claim me on the Mexican side. (this really doesn't seem right but when they believe something there at the immigration there's no talking them out of it :P )
I would like to live close to the US like you so I would not have to worry about all that visa stuff. They do have power, but sometimes if it rains or storms it will go out for maybe a day or so. I hope it is not as bad as I am thinking. If he was from a city (even a small one) I would be ready to go. I want to go, but I do not want to give up my whole life here and then end up stuck on the ranch being miserable. He has some kind of farm where they sell and buy cows, his mother has a small neighborhood store, and she also sells food at the schools and he said that she always made good while he was growing up. I am willing to leave everything, but I want my kids to be okay also.
ReplyDeleteI think you are wise to want a plan first. I had far fewer things to consider (kids, rancho life) with my husband and I still needed a plan. That said, you will be amazed at what you can become accustomed to. No matter where you are in Mexico, life will be harder than the US to some degree. You will gain a better understanding of how much you can get used to by going there and trying it out. Your husband desperately misses his family, so give him that time with them on the farm and then decide from there. I can tell you that it will be much, much easier to get an FM2/FM3 if you two are married and he claims responsibility for you. Otherwise, it may be possible for you to claim your children (if they are Mexican nationals) as dependents and be granted a visa this way. But I believe you will have to show some sort of income. Since you are not sure you will like Mexico, I would suggest taking the first step and going down there to visit. Then go from there.
ReplyDeleteYou need to live in the city. I lived in Mexico for 6 years back and forth. Still living in both the US and Mexico, really. THere are many good cities. But my husband is from Cuernavaca which is great lots of english speakers and so many things to do. I love it cuz I can go to walmart/home depot/staples/chilis/sams club/costco and then go have tacos on the street. It has a little of both worlds. But Jalisco is great too. I would live in either Morelos or Jalisco the states, in the city. If you do not like the big city, then live in Cuernavaca you are 1 hour from Mexico City. If you like the city, I love Mexico City! But, my husband is not such a city boy so we live in Cuernavaca it is a little of both worlds. But, I still need to be able to hop on a bus and go into the city! So you have a little of both worlds look into it.
ReplyDeleteCompromise...is the key...but also going and checking it out..is also a must. Exactly where is your husband? I've traveled all over Mexico..maybe i can give a bit of insight? I lived in a town int he middle of now where...we had running water most days..that is when the city did cut it off for what ever reason..and ...ask your boyfriend about getting a water tank...so you at least have water for a shower. They are these big black tanks that plp put on the top of the house.
ReplyDeleteI also went with out a shower for 6 months...the shower just didnt work...so i took a bath everyday...which was relaxing...but i did miss my shower.
We had power..that was nice.
Go into with a open mind...ready to learn a new culture...a new language...his family would love to see the baby. Go visit...it will be worth it!